God witnessed it all...

i feel sooo bad no matter what she says; no matter if it's okay with her..and the huge heavy load of guilt and x-senang-hati is on my shoulder all day, even til this very minute.. i dunno what to doooooooooooooooooooh boo hoo.

u see, Atique had some drama-show on today. apparently it's kinda like her final project/presentation thingy (BEN stuff). i met her up before halaqah exam and she told me that she wants me to be there when she performs. i watched Ezryn's group the other day. they presented Shakespeare stuff and it was fun. so i was very much looking forward to go watch Atique's (tho i had no idea whatsoever what's the theme..)

the thing is, *sob3* i kinda heard (and thot i had confirmed it with her) that the drama performance will be Monday 1030 PM and that's the exact time i saved in my schedule. plus an alarm okayh! i really did plan on going. then this morning at exactly 1025 AM she called me up asking
"are u coming or not?" and with full excitement and enthusiasm i answered
"OFCOURSE!! its tonyte ryte?" and she's like,
"er..no, it's ryte about now." and i'm like,
"huh? i thot it's tonyte!" and she's like,
"no, it's now.." (sensed disappointment in her voice)
"ohmigod!! atique!!i really thot n believed it's tonight!!....." yeah, u get the picture..

so i rushed and got dressed and rushed down to maz's and took her car keys (with permission) and sped to the experimental hall, which was the place i believed and thought the venue is and *buff* i rushed up all the stairs all the way to the hall and it turned out that naah, not the place. i asked around and no one knew about any drama presentations..

sigh..realizing that i had carelessly, negligently -and-all-that left my phone in my room, i had no means of communication. but thanx to the inventor of public phones, i gave practically everyone, regardless of the states they are in, whom i believe and think that they myte have Atique's number and GOT NO ANSWER!! everyone's against me huhu..then i thot of calling Atique's home in JB and her sister-thank god- picked up the phone and gave me the number (and now, hehe..atique! i hafal ur number sudaa)..after numerous attempts calling her and failing to be answered, i left a message in the voice mail..tuff luck..what to do..

hmm..so she says its okay..so i apologized..but it doesn't help. meB i shud have tried explaining but i cudnt be bothered. i believe that people cant be bothered to hear other people's explanation. it'll end up like ur giving excuses and i dun like giving excuses and i shur am not good in explaining for myself and shur i know that as a fact! hmm..atique says she recorded the whole show and she will make me watch it. goody!! i cant wait!! :D but she really sounded down, disappointed, kuciwa, and a lil sad. and when i asked her, she said, "yeah, well, i really wanted u and nib to be there. but its okay.."

i am so disappointed with myself. one simple mistake! it's AM!!! not PM!!!! haih..no eletronic organizer cud have saved or helped me aih..hmm..another crap-friend-disappoint-others day..

so Atique, i'm sooo sorry..but let's believe there's a wisdom behind the
scene me not being able to make it to ur show ( think positive!!!) BUT
insyaAllah! there'll be another time ryte?? and God willing, i'll be there! and
plus, no matter what, present or absent, i support u all the way n u have my
love!! *hugs*

*feeling better*