i da cakap i ni garang orangnye..

for a starter, it's 1 AM and my bro's out there sumwhere, taking my so-much-younger bro out playing futsal; sumwhere more than 30mins drive away from home and they're not back yet!! unfair! and my parents are now sleeping! why are they not all bising2 "mane ni tak balik2 lagi?" why are they not on the phone calling him up asking "where are you now? it's late night. u better start heading home now"

if it was me, out with my gurls, or out for a meeting or a program or whatever, the minute the clock screams 10pm, i know that i should be expecting a phone call. at least, kene soal "where are u now?" "what time u nak balik?" especially if i left the home with just a "i'll be back soon!" or "don't wait for me" (although i know that i would come home to either one of my parents opening the door for me.)

*roll eyes* *duh*

ofkos i know why. because i'm a young lady. and because i'm their princess! *duh again..* that's soo obvious..

ohkay, so i was just melepaskan geram, ranting out/ venting out my anger, frustration, whatever atas tu! *scream out loud*

i am sooo angry at myself. i am disappointed and at dismay. with myself. i blame no one.i feel sooo stupit. no. that's soooohhohhoho not the word.

i know i'm supposed to be all cool and relaxed after a week of holiday with Su. that, i shur had a GREAT time. fab okay. this has nothing to do with my one week hols. in fact, today (or rather, yesterday for at this minute, it's already a new day) was a good day. started the day with a picnic at the fishermen port that i really wanted to go to (for what reasons, i have no idea). maktok made us her ever so famous nasi lemak. we drove to Parit Salam. her sister (my Tok Andak) and her mom ( my great grandmother, Nek Siti). i really had fun. the warga emas in my fam are real cool people. i love chatting with them over a meal or just any hot drinks or just baring2 depan tv; anything, anytime (watched Seagal's Exit Wound with Mak Tok at midnight ystrday whahaha). great fun. (more details later)

back to the main story, i reached JB in time for the campaign's meeting. and that actually got me feeling good. i felt like a superwoman. i mean, it was like, i had to reach JB by 'Asr coz i have to be in a meeting by that time. turun je bas, my bro came to pick me and drive me to the meeting place. and the fact that the meeting was to me, one of the affective and productive meetings ever. okay, so i was kinda disappointed that number of people who was present was just, hmm..5. wait.6. 3 guys/3ladies. however, i was pleased because, everyone was involved with the discussion. i mean, kalau meeting besar, people are just soo tak focused and gowd, that just annoys the *tuut* out of me!

point being, i am tired out, a lil emo, but not because i'm tired from my trip or the hectic day i had today (yesterday!) or because of the meeting.

lets just say, i stumbled across something online that took me by surprise about someone. someone that i thought i should prolly give a chance. someone who i thought deserves to be given the chance. i'm talking about giving chances to a friend. the feeling is not of betrayal but i suppose, just a meer disappointment. that got me staring at the laptop's screen, scrolling down every single page that i could open up like mad, swallowing up, gulping in everything that i could. for allowing such to happen; i am really, really am losing it.(whatever that meant, whatever that was supposed to mean, who cares?!?),
owh why did i even bother?
*aargh..!!*
why did i even care to bother?
a total waste of time. final word, i thank you, you!
*xtreme sarcasm*
no room for positive attitude/mind/watever, at this mo