person i missed...
Maybe I'm just being emotional, crybaby or whatever. But right at this moment, I thought of someone whom I haven't met or heard of for a long time. Someone who hasn't crossed my mind for sometime, and right away I knew that I am missing her and have missed her. So much, that I dropped tears.
The saddest and most upsetting part of it all is the fact that I have no idea how I can ever see her or get to talk to her ever again. It's my aunt. Probably labeled 'x-aunt'now. Her husband's
my mom's older brother so when they got divorced, she left.
They were married for more than 13 years and had no child. The doctor confirmed the fact that it's not that one of them is sick or anything. Just takde rezeki I guess.. they did adopted 2 kids. One lil arab boy and one pretty baby girl (my aunt's niece). They divorced without difficulties and with consent. The divorce went well. That's all I knew. I was in matric when they separated so I knew nothing much. All I know is that she went back to her hometown, Kuantan.
She was (and still is) my favorite aunt (among yg 'org luar' lah).. It seems so comforting to remember the fact that wherever my family resides, my uncle and her would always be residing in the same city. When we move away, somehow, my uncle would be transferred to the same city or state we moved to. Of course, excluding the time when our family stayed overseas la. I guess the fact that they had no child of their own, and that my family's the only relative living nearby, our relationship was great. I can still recall and remember quite clearly all the trips we made to the malls, parks, recreation parks, picnics and all outings that she and my uncle ever took me along with them; just me alone, with my brother, or with the whole family.
She was so gentle and so kind and loving.. and I felt her love deeply.. Again, maybe because she has cared for me since I was small. My family have always made regular trips to their house, even when they were living quite far away even though in the same state as ours. The last time I saw her was before I left for matric that now seem like so many years ago. We went over to her place for dinner. The husband and wife seemed fine.
Later, my uncle got transferred to the residential area we're staying in. I can remember being excited hearing 'rumors' that they'll be living in our area, in our neighborhood. I got excited at the thoughts that I can now hang out at my uncle's place with her during weekends or anytime I want (note: she doesn't work). They did move, but not in our neighborhood. Somewhere 20 minutes drive away. I was in matric so I missed out on a lot of trips to their new place. Whenever I came back for the weekends or holiday breaks, I never made it to their place. I was disappointed but never gave much thought to it. I guess, my mom and dad was busy or something. it was only later, after a month after their divorce only my mom told me that my aunt has left for her parent's. I was shocked. But I guess no one noticed the wound and the scar that the news and fact has left me. At least it explained all the times when my mom avoided my requests and questions on 'when are we going to their place?'..
And right now, as I thought of her and her where about, I am most upset by the fact that she never bid me farewell, that I never got the chance to say goodbye, to thank her for everything. It would be fine if she wouldn't ever want to meet us again or whatever if only I got to say goodbye. I don't even have her number!!!! I guess I took it for granted that she was my uncle's wife. Maybe its because my mom's family had no history of divorce cases so I was..well..unaware? sigh..
All I need right now is her number. Or her address. Even though she has separated with my uncle, I don't think it's wrong if I continue my relationship with my aunt. My uncle has now remarried. It makes it soo much harder and awkward for me to ask around for my aunt's number. Not even from my m0m. I cannot look in his face without thinking of his ex-wife. I'm glad he has found someone new and I am happy for him that he's going to be a father soon. But..i don't see anything wrong in me being friends with my aunt tuh.. when I look at my uncle and his new life, I makes me sad. He's living such a different lifestyle compared to before..I guess God has made better plans and that there's wisdom behind all that has happened. But I really miss my cik kiah. I have no idea what to do..but I really do miss her..
To my cik kiah..
selamat hari raya..raihan rindu sangat kat cik kiah..I pray that God watches over you and that we'll meet someday..
The saddest and most upsetting part of it all is the fact that I have no idea how I can ever see her or get to talk to her ever again. It's my aunt. Probably labeled 'x-aunt'now. Her husband's
my mom's older brother so when they got divorced, she left.
They were married for more than 13 years and had no child. The doctor confirmed the fact that it's not that one of them is sick or anything. Just takde rezeki I guess.. they did adopted 2 kids. One lil arab boy and one pretty baby girl (my aunt's niece). They divorced without difficulties and with consent. The divorce went well. That's all I knew. I was in matric when they separated so I knew nothing much. All I know is that she went back to her hometown, Kuantan.
She was (and still is) my favorite aunt (among yg 'org luar' lah).. It seems so comforting to remember the fact that wherever my family resides, my uncle and her would always be residing in the same city. When we move away, somehow, my uncle would be transferred to the same city or state we moved to. Of course, excluding the time when our family stayed overseas la. I guess the fact that they had no child of their own, and that my family's the only relative living nearby, our relationship was great. I can still recall and remember quite clearly all the trips we made to the malls, parks, recreation parks, picnics and all outings that she and my uncle ever took me along with them; just me alone, with my brother, or with the whole family.
She was so gentle and so kind and loving.. and I felt her love deeply.. Again, maybe because she has cared for me since I was small. My family have always made regular trips to their house, even when they were living quite far away even though in the same state as ours. The last time I saw her was before I left for matric that now seem like so many years ago. We went over to her place for dinner. The husband and wife seemed fine.
Later, my uncle got transferred to the residential area we're staying in. I can remember being excited hearing 'rumors' that they'll be living in our area, in our neighborhood. I got excited at the thoughts that I can now hang out at my uncle's place with her during weekends or anytime I want (note: she doesn't work). They did move, but not in our neighborhood. Somewhere 20 minutes drive away. I was in matric so I missed out on a lot of trips to their new place. Whenever I came back for the weekends or holiday breaks, I never made it to their place. I was disappointed but never gave much thought to it. I guess, my mom and dad was busy or something. it was only later, after a month after their divorce only my mom told me that my aunt has left for her parent's. I was shocked. But I guess no one noticed the wound and the scar that the news and fact has left me. At least it explained all the times when my mom avoided my requests and questions on 'when are we going to their place?'..
And right now, as I thought of her and her where about, I am most upset by the fact that she never bid me farewell, that I never got the chance to say goodbye, to thank her for everything. It would be fine if she wouldn't ever want to meet us again or whatever if only I got to say goodbye. I don't even have her number!!!! I guess I took it for granted that she was my uncle's wife. Maybe its because my mom's family had no history of divorce cases so I was..well..unaware? sigh..
All I need right now is her number. Or her address. Even though she has separated with my uncle, I don't think it's wrong if I continue my relationship with my aunt. My uncle has now remarried. It makes it soo much harder and awkward for me to ask around for my aunt's number. Not even from my m0m. I cannot look in his face without thinking of his ex-wife. I'm glad he has found someone new and I am happy for him that he's going to be a father soon. But..i don't see anything wrong in me being friends with my aunt tuh.. when I look at my uncle and his new life, I makes me sad. He's living such a different lifestyle compared to before..I guess God has made better plans and that there's wisdom behind all that has happened. But I really miss my cik kiah. I have no idea what to do..but I really do miss her..
To my cik kiah..
selamat hari raya..raihan rindu sangat kat cik kiah..I pray that God watches over you and that we'll meet someday..
*ryhn*
5:15 PM
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