a prayer..

Marilah kita sama-sama menyertai "prayer day" sedunia yang dikhabarkan didalam islamonline.net,
Rabu, 26 hb7, disini mereka sertakan doa yang akan sama-sama kita baca utk menyelamatkan dunia islam. Inilah peluang besar! Tuhan pasti menerima doa seluruh ummah yang ingin kembali kepadanya dan tuhan juga mungkin akan menghukum kita dgn menolak permintaan kita kerna ada salah seorang daripada kita tidak menyertai program seluruh umat islam ini! Doa yang akan kita panjatkan bersama! :

O Allah, We seek Your help; we beseech Your forgiveness.
We affirm our faith in You; we praise You.
We reject and abandon everyone who forsakes You.
O Allah, You alone do we worship; unto You alone we pray, and before You alone we
prostrate in worship.
Unto You alone we strive and implore.
We cherish hope in Your mercy; we fear Your chastisement.
Most certainly, Your stern punishment will overtake those who reject the truth.
O Allah, we ask Your help against the aggressors who have committed crimes (against the
oppressed).
O Allah, they cannot overwhelm You.
O Allah, You who are the Lord of the oppressed,Help the oppressed (against their oppressors).
O Allah, show us Your miraculous powers in dealing with them (i.e. the aggressors).
O Allah, make their plans a plan for their destruction.
Make their armies a source of their own defeat.
Make their prison a prison for them.
O Allah, help the oppressed against the oppressors in all parts of the world.
O Allah, have mercy on the Ummah of Muhammad.
O Allah, bring relief to the Ummah of Muhammad.
O Allah, You are the twister of hearts, make our feet steadfast on the path of truth.
O Allah, make us all guides unto truth and make us rightly guided.
O Allah, bless and send peace on Your Prophet and Messenger Muhammad
and his entire family and Companions.

Ya Allah kami meminta perlindunganmu, dan meminta ampun darimu,
kami beriman dgnmu dan memujimu,

Kami meninggalkan sesiapa yang mengingkarimu,
Dan kepadamu kami menyembah,solat dan sujud,
dan kepamu arah tuju kami,

Kami mengharap rahmatmu dan takutkan azabmu,
sesungguhnya azabmu amat dasyat untuk org-org kuffar,
Ya allah keatasmu kami serahkan org-org yahudi ,org-org yang memusuhi agamamu,
dan org-org kafir yang berdosa, mereka itulah yang telah mencabul kehormatan, membunuh serta menghalau umat islam di palestin dan lubnan ,
Ya Allah sesungguhnya mereka sekali-kali tidak akan melemahkan engkau,
yA Allah engkaulah tuhan org-org yang lemah dan teraniaya,
Turunkanlah bantuanmu buat mereka

Ya Allah tunjukkan kedapa mereka keajaiban kudratmu,
Ya Allah jadikanlah rancangan jahat mereka menimpa mereka sendiri,
dan tentera-tentera mereka memerangi mereka sendiri,
dan penjara-penjara mereka menjadi tempat buat mereka sendiri,

Ya Allah bantulah mereka-mereka yang lemah diseluruh dunia!
Ya Allah berilah kemenangan buat mereka kemenangan yang mulia,
Ya Allah rahmatilah umat Muhammad s.a.w,
Ya Allah selamatkanlah umat Muhammad s.a.w,

Ya Allah engkau yang mengawal hati kami, maka tetapkanlah hati kami dijalan kebenaran,
Ya Allah jadikanlah kami diantara org-org yang diberi petunjuk dan memberi petunjuk,

Allahumma salli wassallim a'ala Muhammadin wa a'ala aalihi wa ashabihi ajmai'in.
Amiin.

God knows..

my first week. totally happening. literally, technically and everything in between.

Monday morning,
i discovered that my schedule yang i dah elok2, chantek2 susun is all ugly and messed up! how that happened, dun ask coz i don't know!!! the last time i checked, all was cool, as i planned it out and suddenly, *kaboom, bang, poof* voila! nevertheless, that wasnt much of a problem NOR was it as surprising and shocking as to what happened later that day.

after Isya' I felt sick, a sudden headache hit me, felt all faint; and the next thing i know, it was midnight, i was on my bed and Maz with Kak Ezryn was next to me, wiping my arms and my face with a cold damp cloth; and all i could say was, " korang buat ape ni? facial ke?"

my body temperature was, if u ask me, i thought it was around 80-90 degrees but point is, temp was high that i actually thot of frying something on my forehead. i couldn't move, whatmore to get up from bed. i was subconcious most of the time and my whole body ached. i was quite scared to be honest. i mean, i was feeling all great, no hints of me going to tumbang and all that earlier during the day!

Maz took me to a private clinic in Setiawangsa, a family friend's. i couldn't talk, so Maz did most of the talking and we left the clinic with a bag of colorful pills. yeah, i was (and still am) on drugs.and i got a 2days MC.

i experienced the worst backpain, the worst headache, the worst numbness (if there is such a word) the worst cramp, and for the first time in my whole entire 20 years of life, i experienced performing salaah in bed; lying down. yeah, it was that bad.

and during the days i was on bed, i remembered the prayer that i read on kak Mar's page..

Ya Allah, kiranya kesakitan ini adalah penghapus segala dosa, penebus
kesilapanku yang silam, aku redha ya Allah. Sesungguhnya Engkau berhak
memberikan kesenangan dan kesusahan, maka setelah segala kesenangan yang Engkau
berikan, apa jua kesusahan yang Kau berikan sebagai ujian aku terima dengan jiwa
yang redha. Ampunilah dosa-dosaku dan ketahuilah sesungguhnya aku ini hambaMu
yang lemah. Adalah tidak mungkin mampu aku menanggung segala ini ya Allah tanpa
kekuatan dari Mu. Oleh itu aku memohon padaMu cekalkanlah hatiku dan
kurniakanlah aku jiwa yang tabah dan sabar. Jadikanlah aku hamba yang sentiasa
dekat padaMu, tetapkanlah imanku dan jadikanlah aku di antara orang-orang yang
soleh. Engkaulah yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang, Maha Mengetahui Segala
Sesuatu.

*******************************

midday 11th July, i got a phone call from Ummi.i could felt that i knew what news i was going to hear from Ummi. the moment i heard her voice, i could tell she was holding back her tears.

"Akak, atok passed away just now.."

we had a really short conversation. she was trying to make arrangements for me to go back to Batu Pahat with my aunty who stays in Gombak. later Abah called and it was decided that i was to just stay in college since i was in a very bad state and travelling would only help to make it worse.

i found out later that my mom was the only one who was with Atok til his last breath. somehow, i didnt really want to know the details. when i met my mom, and we were walking alone, i really didnt know what to say to her. what do you say to your mom who has just lost her father? but i knew she needed to talk and so i did the listening. there were things i wanted to say but i kept on choking on my words when i do try to speak. i felt really bad and guilty because i believe that i was the only member of the family who wasnt at the funeral.
and worst of all, the news really got to me, not only til the next day. delayed reaction. and it hurts.

i have lost one more person who loves me. one who really loves me, unconditionally, undoubtedly. Ummi would always tell me that whenever she goes back to see him, no matter how it hurts Atok to talk ( he cant speak clearly. had an operation kat tekak dia), first thing he would ask is "Raihan mana"

May Allah bless his generous soul...

********************************

it was my birthday on Thursday. big story. will continue later insyaAllah..

leaving..goodbye Incik Cuti..

the title said it. yep, holidays are near to its very end..and i'll be leaving for KL this friday. (2moro that is) and hmm..i have not started packing at all! i am sooo mencarik pasal sendiri. i'll surely end up at the very last minute before leaving the house driving everyone at home crazy with,
"where's my ticket???" *even after numerous confirmations that yes, the ticket is in my wallet*
"where is my .....???" *rushing up/downstairs*
"cepat ba!! i'm going to miss my bus!!"
"boys..cepat salam!! i'm leaving!!!" *they're all over the house!*
"abah, this is my ....akak letak here. dun 4get to bawak tau nanti!!! janji tau!!"

well..not that bad..maybe worse kot..aaaaaaaaaanywaaays...

got 'team building' prog with K-Care in IIU 7th-9th so i defly have to go back early. registration for 2nd year will be on the 9th (Sunday) so..i'll have to deal with that la. thank God Zahid is coming along with me this Sunday..ade la bodyguard and, he can help me with my stuff!! since we're travelling by bus, i have promised myself that i will not menyusahkan Zahid, or be the cause of his headache making him be more convinced that he is a brother to a neurotic and metally-deranged (mild je tho) plus OCD (mild too) being. i promise! and for that, i have to learn to travel light! *reach for a copy of "Hows To's"*

which reminds me. Zahid is enrolling in UTP next week. (other than the fact that after this i'll have to share the full the attention that i used to get as a U student from my ummi and abah) i wonder what's in his mind. he has always wanted to take up Architecture. but then, UTP's offer came 1st. he had to decide. and he decided. he must be torn! coz i would be too if i were him. but i'm not. and he's cool. and anyways, UTP pon, course yg dia mintak. at least he knows what he wants. i'm really proud of him. i pray for what's best for him and anyways, i'm shur Allah has made the best of plans for Zahid..and i think it would be good for his business..gambate brodah!!

you know what? i'd like to consider myself as an independent young lady..i believe i am one! but i guess, not true to the core.

recently, i had a chat or two with a few friends of mine who are studying (and obviously) living in countries outside Malaysia. and it got me laying down many, many reasons on why i am studying Mesia and not any other country for my Degree..(other than bcoz i wanted to do my LLB in the campus that i am in now of course)

my status as a student studying in a local university, which is situated in hmm..say...4-5 hours drive away from home?.. when it's semester break, i demand and insist on taking back home with me EVERYthing that i own in my room. i insist on packing everything up and not leaving them in the stores provided by the college.
as a result, my dad will have to come with a truck a.k.a, as known to the public; Unser to transport all my goods and belongings safely all the way to JB. and it is pretty much acknowledged by everyone in the family that they will not be able to breathe well if they join the trip hence they leave abah and ummi only to go fetch me for the holidays..(except the small ones la yg can selit2 in the what's left of the spaces).. i dun travel light.
so if i were to move abroad, i think i wud be crying to get my dad ship over a 'container' for me!

i get on the phone almost everyday with my mom and dad (or any one of them). text, call, misscalls, the kind. yeah, i know that even if i'm studying overseas i can still get to talk to them on the phone but..hmm..not as often as i do la..i mean,terukla if i have to get them on the phones just to hear me go,
"oh! abah! i have a new plan! listen, see, i think when i retire, i want to move to...... and be a ..."
"oh, ummi, pleeeeeez...tolong topup..puhleeeez.."
"abah, are u coming over to KL this week?"
"abah, next week can u make urself ada meeting?? i wanna go...u come with me la.."
"Ummi, i have an idea..if i buy this...i dun need to....but i....then u can..(goreng2).and you'll benefit from it! so, boleh?"

u get the idea?
and still, my parents thinks i slalu 'mendiamkan diri' when i'm in campus..
and when i do call them up, (or miskol them and they call back ofcourse lol..) they go,
"nak apa lagi..alaaa..ha..iyelah..ok..ok..bye...nanti2...dah!dah! "

*let's laugh here.*
oh but hey, those who do notice that my dad comes to KL often, he comes because he really does have a meeting or sum other stuff! not because i forced him to come!!! forcing parents is not good...*tsk3*

and then, there's rumah mak dut nearby. i'm always running of to her place (my aunt's). i soooo owe them alot. and i get to use the car too. and i'm staying in a campus that doesn't make me walk miles just to get to my classes or to any place in campus.

and when it comes to money, well, i am a fully pa&ma sponsored student, so if anything, paham la kan..sume carik abah la kan..*sheepish grin*

among the ever so many other reasons..

but i do love to imagine myself having to study in another country..i get to do a lot of travelling! take lots and lots of pictures! lots and lots more cloud&sky-pictures! to live in a house with friends..make our own meals! do our own grocery shopping all the time!! buy furnitures!!!

*shrug* i believe that wherever a person is, and whatever he is doing, i believe that it is God's plan, and there are reasons for it; for Allah knows what's best for His creatures..

prob now, how to make abah n ummi tak marah tgk all my stuff packed up nanti. last trip, ummi said, "haih..nanti akak grad, we myte need to hire a lorry to take all ur stuff balik rumah.."

no comment. i shud quit blogging late at nyte. i tend to ramble..kan?

The Agony of a Palestinian Family

*a poem from Kid.
(hope it's ok with u that i moved it here frm the comment box ;D)

I watched on TV this communiqué,
It rent and torn my heart that day.

I saw soldiers pushing their way,
And a Palestinian family held at bay.

I saw this family begging and pray,
But those soldiers continued anyway.

Their pleadings to hold the sway
Made no difference and no headway.

Clutching her baby she wanted to
stay,
A motherly courage she would display.

The soldiers hit and pushed her away,
Her child fell down in this disarray.

Were the soldiers ashamed?
Nay, nay.It was the height of their moral decay.

Her husband tried to help, by the way
The soldiers beat and threw him away.

The Palestinians were a helpless prey,
Their bloody faces called Mayday.

My eyes got wet and tears rolled away,
The soldiers continued without a delay.

A bulldozer flattened their home.
I say,Kindness and justice were cast away.

-zaki-

• i am 42.86% jealous. or so the test says..
• Brazil's kicked out of the World Cup, thnx to France.. les allez bleus!!! tho i am disappointed. coz i support both team and the fact that they had to play against each other.i woke up to Lubna's text telling me so and that, got me laughing. lol. it was just soo funny. i thot i dreamt that les blues won the match, and when i woke up, walla, they did. naah..m no psychic.

i have something to say on the current situation in Palestine. but will do maybe later. for now, let us all pray for the Palestinian and may it be that the 'Humanitarian Disaster' (which by now is very much expected) will not occur..

gtg..laytah!